I’m not going to lie. I USED to be a big holiday person and I honestly don’t know what happened. I think something in me just snapped one day and I was OVER decorating.

I actually do know what happened… I felt like from an early age I identified the holidays with kindness and excitement, something that was missing from my regular life. The holidays meant a chance to escape through a new lens, to see the world differently and indulge the senses. I spent hours scheming on how to make the BEST Halloween haunted house. My brother and I were often partners in this respect. One year, my mom donated a bunch of mannequins and we went hog wild. Our frontyard was a veritable murder scene, complete with electric chair, chainsaws and nooses. I was an eleven year old who knew how to tie a functioning noose…

And Lord Help ME if it wasn’t perfect. I would get so particular about all the little details, I would literally be in a bad mood for weeks as I took over our front yard. It had to be chef’s kiss masterful. Come to think of it, that’s how I feel about interior design… but it was THAT feeling I was over. The intense anxiety that came with trying to achieve my vision. You do not want to be around me when I’m in that mode. I’m like a were-designer, powerless against my inner urge to cut you down with some horrible insult. I guess they call it tunnel vision.

Never mind no one ever trick-or-treated at our house. I mean NO ONE. I had aspirations that word would spread about our insanely intricate and imaginative installation, and kids would make the trek up the hill to witness my genius. But this was before social media and it was literal crickets at our house. Plus the crickets I had playing on the “Halloween Sounds” tape on my boombox hidden in the bushes.

So now I don’t do Halloween or Christmas. I leave it alone so I can be free. Sometimes it’s ok to acknowledge weakness and just avoid things that trigger your worst traits.

But that does mean I don’t keep Halloween in my heart all year round! In fact, incorporating off-kilter decor is kinda my thing! If you haven’t read it yet, you should check this article out: No Fail Steps to Make Your House Cool.

Plus I have this really cool bowl for sale… it would be perfect for handing out candy!

portraits (under $1000)

No doubt about it, portraits are creepy. They are! And that’s exactly why I like them. They can be extremely unsettling. Who is this person I’ve invited into my living space? Are they still alive? Is their spirit still lingering on the paint from when they were in the room? For some, it’s the eyes staring back at you.

Here are some of the more particularly creepy ones, if you dare… (BTW I would totally put ALL of these in my house!!)

Body Parts

Why decorate with a regular old bowl or planter when you can get a severed hand or foot???? I love adding these weird little touches — it just makes the home feel fun and alive!

Polish posters

If you’ve hired me to decorate your home, you will have seen this poster as part of your questionnaire:

It is my litmus test for how WEIRD we can get! Most people settle around “not that weird” but still, I can’t resist it.

I love using polish posters in my decor for many different reasons. Here’s a little history lesson for those of you who are just being introduced to the world of soviet-block art.

If you’ve ever been to a former soviet country or even Russia and visited any of their museums, you would have noticed a lot of propaganda promoting “hard work” and the “sweat of the common man” etc. Iron sickle anybody? The government sent their artists to special schools to learn how to bring an idea to life with just one provocative image. Artists were not there for self-expression but for rallying the people for a common goal. The image was king.

Then the wall fell down and all hell broke loose, culturally speaking. Western influences from the outside world trickled in and there was a hunger to see these new spectacles. Most of the people behind the iron wall had never seen a Western movie and none of the artists hired to promote the films even saw them before they came up with the marketing campaign.

So what do you get? Weird, off-ball reinterpretations of often benign movies. Case in point:

Let’s play a game. 10 points if you can name each film without google image searching!!! I’ll give you a few hints in order of the images:

1. 1971 thriller film titled after an insect

2. 1983 Japanese film starring Ken Ogata, of Vengeance is Mine fame.

3. Who’s Afraid of the Big Bad Wolf? Maybe Elizabeth Taylor…

4. “Impatient boys sometimes miss dessert!”

5. "First you gotta get up in your drunk-man stance / Let your neck loose, let your head go to bopping / now bend your knees and bow, sweep or sway non-stopping."

6. The second Oscar-nominated film John Cazale appeared in as a supporting character. He was in a total of 5 feature films, all of them Oscar-nominated, before dying of cancer.

Sorry to end on a sour note! But there you have it! My Halloween-inspired decor that you can possibly use ALL YEAR ROUND (if you dare muahahahahhaahahah)